If You Don’t Mean It, Don’t Say It

I have a special friend who passed away two years ago. He was much older than I, more than double my age. His name was Harold. Harold showed up at our synagogue at the age of 89. Something in our synagogue touched his spirit and he loved coming. It actually gave him a new spirit of life until his passing. He passed away at the age of 92.

There is one phrase which Harold used to repeat to me quite often. Whenever he would thank me or share a compliment he would pat his chest and say, “If you don’t mean it, don’t say it.” This was his way of telling me how much he meant what he was saying. I’ll never forget this phrase and it’s the phrase itself that means so much to me.

Too often we say things to people without true sentiment. We say words without a heart. As we begin the Jewish New Year and offer good wishes to our relatives and friends, let’s take a moment to ensure that our well-wishing isn’t routine or paying tribute. Make it a true heartfelt expression. Take a moment and think about what this person really needs or wants and wish it for them. “I bless you to have good health this year.” “I bless you that your studies go easily for you.” “I bless you to find your soul mate this year.” Look them in the eyes. Feel it as you say it.

The best thing we can do for another is to convey that we understand them. We know what’s on their mind. We feel them.

I bless you with a year of good health, abundance and happiness as well as a year when you speak more from your heart than you do last year.

Shana Tova!