How do you think people feel after encountering you? Do you think they leave feeling uplifted and encouraged or dejected and discouraged?
There are some special people I’ve encountered who always make me feel important. Once particular Rabbi comes to mind. Whenever I meet him he gives me the warmest welcome. He always has time for my questions. I feel that he truly values me as a person. There are other people who don’t quite embrace me in the same way. In fact, with some people I feel less than, when I leave them. Once I’ve begun taking responsibility for my feelings this has improved significantly. However, there still remains two types of people, those who raise others up and those who bring others down.
The law of gravity reminds us that it’s always easier to bring things down than to raise things up. To move things against gravity requires an effort. This is not much different when it comes to people. It’s far easier to put someone down than to raise them up. How do you think people feel after encountering you? Do you think they leave feeling uplifted and encouraged or dejected and discouraged? Did you ever ask yourself this question? It’s worth asking because the answer will reveal something even deeper.
You see, some people flatten themselves out so they can make room for others. Some people flatten others out to make more room for themselves. The irony is that the more we need to pronounce our presence so that others are aware of us, the needier we are and the more dependent we are. This is why, as we make our selves more pronounced, we are actually diminishing ourselves. We are unknowingly demonstrating our desperate need for acknowledgement from others. We are unknowingly showing our fear that the other person’s presence will diminish our own. So we hurriedly diminish them, we flatten them out. It may be with a comment, a slight of hand, a biting joke or a maneuver to undermine them. It’s really all the same thing, our attempt to minimize their significance in the hope that it’ll raise ours. In behaving this way we are achieving the very opposite. We are demonstrating how fearful we are of the other and how desperately we depend on our power, position, respect or whatever it is, to know we are worthy. In simple English, everything I just describe is arrogance.
When we’ve developed ourselves, we discover our true significance which comes from a place much deeper than anything outside of us can offer. It comes from our essence, our spirit, our soul. Then we live a more fearless life. We don’t depend on other people and things to feel our value. We comfortably flatten ourselves out, so to speak, to make room for another. We know that their greatness cannot diminish us in any way. There is no threat in raising up the other person. Ironically we discover that it’s the flattened person, the unpronounced individual who doesn’t impose him or herself wherever they go, who is the truly the great one. In simple English, we call this humility.
Many are of the assumption that humble people are meek and weak. No, no, not at all. You now see how it’s the arrogant person who always needs to assert themselves who is weak. Weak and desperate for others to affirm them. The humble person isn’t desperate at all. They are not in need of anything or anyone to affirm them. They are inherently affirmed by their creator.
Now, when do we truly see the power of a humble person? At the very same time we see the weakness of an arrogant person. When a situation arises which warrants that something be done but it would be unpopular. It is not uncommon that the right thing to do is also the unpopular thing to do. Mr. or Mrs. Arrogant won’t do it. Their decisions are ultimately decided by others, by what others think. If it’s unpopular, forget about it. Yes, they’ll come up with justifications, but that’s not what’s truly driving their decision. It’s always one thing, what others think. Mr. or Mrs. Humble, they will rise with the force of a lion to do what is right. Their decisions are ultimately decided by what’s right, not by what others think. They are strong and independent and stand on their own feet. They never need to justify. They just do what’s right.
So you see, humble people aren’t door mats at all. They choose to flatten themselves out before others. They don’t need to massage their ego. They dropped off their ego on the side of their journey a while ago. However, if flattening themselves out will support dishonesty, the one who once thought to be meek and weak will suddenly tower with power.
So where are you on the spectrum of weak to strong? In the very same place as you are on the spectrum of arrogance and humility. What’s far more important than where you are on the spectrum is, of course, which direction you’re going. This effects every single thing you do. This is why we have an 8 day humility workshop called Passover when we only eat matzah, flattened bread, and we don’t eat risen or inflated bread. Let me tell you, 8 days of matzah leaves it’s impression on you. Hopefully, the impression is left deeper than the surface level of your body, it reaches your soul.
Now ask yourself how your life would look different if you were less dependent on what others thought and less in need for others to acknowledge you? Imagine the power that would spill forth from your very being. The power that G-d invested in you, awaiting to be liberated. After all, only the humble are powerful enough to liberate themselves.
It is specifically to help you make this a reality that I created my online course, Beginning Within Master Course. To teach you how to live a life which is less reactive and less defensive as you learn to stop taking things personally. Through learning the concepts and far more importantly, practicing the nine exercises that are available in this course, you will be walking the road to liberation. With the 30-day money back guarantee, there is no risk. For the next few weeks, use the discount code Passover2017 and receive 23% off. And you’ll still have 30 days to receive a full refund if you’re not satisfied. Looking forward to you joining me there.