Did you ever notice how the very thing you love about someone you sometimes can’t stand? The funny thing is that the pros and cons are two sides of the same coin. Remember, this very same issue you’re frustrated about is the very same source of their beauty which you love.
They say that every single coin has two sides to it. I’m sure you know that. There are two sides to every coin. This simple phrase has actually helped me change the way I see all the people around me.
We all have moments when we’re with another person and we see only one side of their coin, so to speak. We see a part of their personality that is irritating us. And what I have slowly discovered is that whenever I see an irritating side to someone’s personality, all I need to do is ask myself one simple question: What is the other side of this coin? Because this personality, which is irritating me, is actually very beneficial at other times. And that’s the other side of the coin. And when we can remind ourselves of that, we can continue to appreciate this person and their personality even though in the moment it can be challenging.
Some people are very realistic people. They only trust what is realistic. And you ask them, can’t you just be a little bit more trusting? I know this, I’ve been down this road already, I know your realistic perspective but just let go for a minute and trust. And they won’t. And that can be very irritating. But there will be another day when, boy, we will thank God that we have this person who is so realistic and grounded next to us.
There are some people who are so logical. Everything is logic. If they can’t grasp it, they will not entertain it. And there are other people who are extremely faithful. They say, just have faith it will all work out. The people who are faithful will achieve certain things in life that the logical person will never ever achieve because they won’t let themselves go out on that limb. However, there are moments when the faithful person goes too far out and their faith fails them. And that’s where the logical person is so valuable.
There are people who are practical, there are people who are unreasonable. Depending on the situation, depending on the context, one side of the coin will be beneficial today, the other side of the coin will be beneficial tomorrow. It’s beautiful when we encounter passive people who let us be. But sometimes it’s the aggressive person and only the aggressive person who will accomplish what needs to be accomplished.
It’s very nice to see someone inhibited under control and not too expressive, not getting in our way. But isn’t there something so beautiful to the spontaneous person who will in the moment just jump up and do something that most of us won’t do? And don’t we sit in envy and wish we were that person? And, yet, at other times that spontaneous person is just crazy and we say, you are nuts, we would never want to be that person. And that’s because there are two sides to every coin. In one context spontaneous is the most beautiful thing; in another context spontaneous is really not very good.
Some people are generous. Some people are very calculated. Some people are composed. Some people are excitable. Bottom line is, there are two sides to every coin. And when we can remember when we are getting in our perspective the wrong side of the coin, remember there will be a day when the other side of this very same coin will show up and we will so deeply appreciate who this person is for what we are today in this moment resenting.
There are people who are organized, orderly, structured, so reliable, it’s so great to have someone who is so reliable. But they’re so measured and they’re so predictable and they’re so boring. And you have a disorganized person, they’re all over the place. They waste so much time because they are so all over the place trying to get themselves together. But, boy, are they exciting, creative. They don’t have a limited perspective in the way they think. Everything is possible to them. They achieve things no one else does because they are unrestricted, they are not orderly and structured. Because there are two sides to every coin.
Take any person you know and any personality you experience and you will see this to be true if you open up yourself enough and be honest enough to see the other side of the coin. And the first person we really need to do this with is ourselves. Because our minds have a tendency of seeing what’s wrong. But you know the very things that we see within ourselves which are wrong are the very things that make us right. Because the other side of that very same coin serves us so well in other times. So maybe we just need to see the right side of the coin. And when we see the right side of the coin, then we can actually embrace ourselves and understand that there will be times when this beautiful side of the coin doesn’t show up so beautifully and maybe that’s the time I need to delegate or I need to find someone else to compliment me. After all, isn’t this what marriage is really all about? Have you discovered, if you’re married, that the person you married who is so perfect for you is in some ways, possibly many ways, so opposite? And you struggle with that until hopefully, you reach a point of realizing what an enormous blessing that is. Because they are the other side of your coin. And they are the other side of your coin which looks ugly, they bring a beauty to that side of the coin because they show up on that side in their full beauty. And then the two of you together, as one, have two beautiful sides of one coin. And that is extremely powerful. We just have to be willing to acknowledge this. And the more we acknowledge that within ourselves there are two sides to our coin, there is the beautiful and the not so beautiful, the more we can look at another person when the side of their coin which is not beautiful shows up and remind ourselves in that moment that yesterday this is not showing up so beautifully but this very same characteristic is actually what makes this person so powerful, so beautiful, and what brings their light into the world. And when we learn to do this, we can learn to embrace every person not because we’re tolerating them, not because we’re putting up with them, but because we realize that this very characteristic that I’m having trouble with is actually the beauty of this other person.
So the next time you struggle with someone else, just ask yourself, what is the other side of their coin, and you will embrace their beautiful self.