Beginning Within - Rabbi Aryeh Weinstein
Change yourself. Influence others.
When you wake up with an ache you know somethings wrong. We don’t embrace pain and are thankful for it indicating there’s a problem. Feeling self is much the same. Feeling self is an indicator that their’s a problem. We’re too self-oriented. We are much happier when we don’t feel our self.
Our life is entirely different when we are leading it. It demonstrates that we are taking our life seriously by doing our best to live up to who G-d made us to be.
Spirituality is very important because it enriches and deepens our experiences in life. When you get to the soul of the matter you begin experiencing the very essence of the person or the thing.
The greatest act of love can be creating boundaries and definition. The most loving relationships can fall apart without exercising boundaries and definition. We cannot succeed at anything in life without exercising self-control, boundaries, limitations, and definition.
True mastery is being insulted by someone in front of a group of friends while maintaining the clarity of mind that what he’s saying is all a reflection of him and not a reflection of you.
The reason why we only listen to certain people is largely because of the way they speak to us. This explains why people don’t listen to us. It’s not only because they don’t listen, it’s because of the way we speak.
There are a few basics steps we can follow that will help us truly care for other people. It’s a very powerful thing to do for another.
Only if we’re thirsty for a resolution or an answer will we find one. This is why, before going into meetings I ask myself, “What is my objective? What outcome am I seeing?”
What makes giving difficult is that it’s giving of myself. Giving of myself to another is always difficult. This is why justifications abound around giving.
Asking in place of accusing is always the better approach. Instead of defensiveness, you get facts. It also can be the gateway to deep trust in a relationship.
While worry may not be healthy, what’s wrong with using it to get you to do the right thing? Very often we use anger to motivate us to do things we otherwise might not do? Is there an issue with using the wrong motivation to do the right thing?
My nature is to worry about things. My husband is the opposite: He always says, “Everything is going to be fine. It’s all going to work out in the end. God’s in control.” While I appreciate that outlook on life, and perhaps even envy it, I feel it can breed complacency and lead someone to be less proactive in changing a negative situation. He tells me “worrying won’t solve the problem,” but I feel that in many cases it can be a powerful motivator toward action.
Is worrying always bad?
Is there a way to reach a feeling of calm about the future without falling complacent?
I have tried to live by example and inspire others, inclusive of immediate family members. They might have gotten somewhat inspired, at times, but the flip side is that they absolutely drain me. I am running on a very low fuel. I can no longer continue to worry about them. I need to save myself from falling. Yet, if I stop “worrying” about them, they will most like stop with religious observance and that will bring me down, for I am outnumbered with absolutely no support. so I am in a lose-lose situation.
There is only one moment you need to transform. By transforming this moment your entire life improves dramatically. It is this moment that Dr. Viktor Frankl refers to when he says, “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”
Redemption means they were free from constraints. When all of our fears and concerns are go, our song flows freely from within.
How do you think people feel after encountering you? Do you think they leave feeling uplifted and encouraged or dejected and discouraged?
Many people complain. What’s wrong with them? Don’t they realize? Why can’t they relate and on and on? Some actually take responsibility. They ask, “How can I make this relevant to them?”
Freedom is most pronounced when we can impose our own limitations on our own selves not due to inhibitions but due to our own choosing.
Drama is actually a distraction from reality. It’s one of the worst ways to deal with anything.
If you want to live a meaningful life that is more in touch with reality, begin developing your spiritual self. There is far more reality in our spiritual space than we may realize.
We must never assess ourselves by the results, we must always assess ourselves by our efforts. There are no guarantees in life when it comes to results.
The way to build trust lies in the hands and is the responsibility of the one trusting. I must trust even before someone has proven to be trustworthy. By doing so, we are assisting them in rising up to the level of trustworthiness.
Sensitivity is a great virtue. Being sensitive to others is most important for our relationships. As social beings, we cannot afford to compromise on our sensitivity without compromising our relationships.
The main reason most people go to work is to make money. The main reason we make money is to provide our family with a quality life where they can thrive and be productive. If we’re too busy living with a scarcity mentality of saving, saving, saving, is it really worth all the work?
What we need to remember is that in the accident and mistake our loved one makes lies our greatest opportunity to strengthen our relationship. It is there that we show our true colors. If we can embrace then, they feel a love they’ve most likely been looking for all their life.
If you truly loved the fish, you wouldn’t be eating it. You’d let it swim in the river. You probably mean that you love yourself.
That’s what we should say it. You’re not in the mood to make your bed? So what? You’re not in the mood to smile, come out of your room when you’re prepared to smile.
When I accept and celebrate my uniqueness, I celebrate the uniqueness I see in others. When I don’t accept and celebrate my uniqueness, this leads to me discriminating against others.
When we don’t understand another person’s perspective, we can either see it as their issue or as our issue. Remember the saying, “Judging another person doesn’t define who they are, it defines who you are.”
I’m here to tell you in no uncertain terms that guilt is destructive. Period. You should do everything possible not to feel guilt and you should not be using it to motivate people to do what you feel they should do.
